


the moment the sun stopped shining

by idkevenknowwhatthisi_s



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Dead Ryan Bergara, Grieving Shane, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I hope you dont cry but also yes i do, M/M, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, This is rly sad, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkevenknowwhatthisi_s/pseuds/idkevenknowwhatthisi_s
Summary: Ryan was Shane's everything, exuding light and warmth, his sunshine. What happens when that gets taken away?akaryan dies and shane is greiving
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej & Sara Rubin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	the moment the sun stopped shining

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself cry on this one which is really fab. Hope you enjoy!

The Moment the Sun Stopped Shining

Shane couldn’t believe it. Ryan, his best friend, was dead. Done-zo. Deceased. Resting-in-peace. Ghostie material. Gone forever.

Shane was a broken man. He couldn’t, he could barely drink and fluids, and he was constantly light headed. Their- his apartment seemed so empty now that there wasn’t the happy-go lucky man always around by his side. He missed him, and as he got dressed in his suit and got his flashcards in order, he realized how awful he looked. Dark bags under his eyes, emotionless eyes puffy from crying, skin hanging off his bones like a walking skeleton. To be honest, that's what he was. A time bomb ticking down to when he eventually collapsed from starvation or when the dam inside him holding back the unprocessable emotions finally broke and he...

Sara showed up outside his door at exactly 11:15 am on the day of the funeral. They gave each other a solemn nod then took the elevator down to the street where a car was waiting. The sky was shining bright, mocking him and his pain. The movies had lied to him when he was a kid. The world moves on when your favorite person, the Boogara to his Shaniac, the love of your life, dies. The world doesn’t mourn with you, the sky doesn’t weep the way you did when you heard the news, the sun doesn’t stop shining even though your sun did.

And now you need to pick your head up and keep moving along, because that's all you can do right now, even though every single bone in your body is telling you not to go on. To stop right here, end your story even though there were supposed to be many, many, many more chapters. More chapters with Shane and Ryan, no longer just friends, adopting a cat even though Ry’s allergic, getting married, adopting kids, growing old. Because how can Shane move on when everything that was pushing him forward is now gone.

They reached the church and Shane stepped out. It was one of those churches that was actively designed to feel small under the wrath of god. Shane just felt helpless looking up at the cross. He felt Sara’s hand pat his back, soft and reassuring. Letting her presence be known. She had been his savior for the past few days, feeding him when he needed to eat and being a shoulder to cry on when the empty apartment felt like too much. She also helped him get rid of Ryan’s stuff he didn’t want.

He didn’t get rid of any of Ryan’s stuff that day.

He doesn’t think he ever will.

The church swallowed them up and they were greeted with hundreds of tear-stained faces. Shane couldn’t help but feel guilty as he looked around the room. He saw Curly, TJ, and the Bergara family. Steve and Linda saw him and sadly waved him over. Sara drew her hand away and walked off to the seat their friends had saved her.

“Shane, over here”, they called out. And suddenly he was feeling dizzy. Very, very dizzy, that the ceiling was the floor and he was wildly swaying to try and keep his balance. Ryan’s parents rushed over when they saw this, and Steve reached out a strong arm to steady him. He looked down at them, their sad and confused eyes staring at him, he felt the sick feeling of guilt he got again and again these past few days. This was all Shanes fault… somehow.

“Oh honey, are you ok? You can step outside if you need, I know it’s a little overwhelming”, Linda said as his eyes started to swim with tears. No, he needed to be strong and stay in this awful church witn Ryan’s dead body. His cold dead body, that would no longer flash him quick smiles, curl up to him when he sleeps, and light up Shane’s world. And now that he could see the casket and the littlest bit of what looked to be Ryan’s hair, he broke down in tears remembering the day when everything in his life went to shit.

***

Ryan had gone out to get eggs for the quiche he was making, and he was going to surprise Shane with the plane tickets to Mexico he had saved up for. They were going to learn how to dance and see the sights of the city.

It was Thursday afternoon and traffic was just starting to get better, so Ryan chose to drive to the nice farm with the eggs they liked. It was a good 30 minute drive on the highway, but it was worth it for the taste of the quiche and the stupid lovestruck face Shane was going to get.

Little did Ryan know he would never see that face again.

When he was merging into one of the other lanes, a truck going 85 in a 60 crashed into the little car that he and Shane shared. Both the car and the driver were in bad condition. And the truck kept driving.

He was rushed to a hospital, losing major amounts of blood by the second. He was in bad condition and the chance of him surviving was 20%. His body was weak enough that he would end up choosing the other option.

~ ~ ~

Shane got a call as he was leaving the office from Ryan’s parents. Thinking back, right as he picked up the phone his heart sunk and he just… knew. Linda was crying, the heart monitor beeped in the background, Steve was explaining the situation. The car he called came quicker than any car he had ordered ever had, and they sped to where Ryan’s unconscious body was laying. The tubes and monitors surrounded him and created a symphony of the most stressful sounds in the world. His face looked angelic.

Ryan woke up one more time after that.

He smiled one last shining smile. The room became brighter than it was before.

He said his last words, slowly and meticulously.

“When you get to Mexico we can dance.”

The heart rate monitor went silent after he squeezed Shane’s hand and raised it to his lips.

He planted a soft kiss on Shane's knuckles.

Then his grasp became limp.

Shane choked out a sob.

Linda whimpered as she realized what that meant.

Steve stayed stone faced.

The nurses laid a sheet over Ryan’s corpse and wheeled him out.

And that was the moment the sun stopped shining.

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry I put you through that. Now heres a stupid video of Ryan when he was in college https://vimeo.com/81308692 :)
> 
> As always, leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!


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